Is there ideal family? A home where everyone is getting along, feeling loved and happy. An environment filled with plenty of mutual respect and solidarity. Where words and actions are in perfect harmony. If you take a look at social media, it seems like everything is perfectly fine in every family. Happy family photos posted, with the status indicating “I feel happy”. But how are the couples’ relationships in reality, behind these photos? How many of them are truly happy? Why do some of them ignore the problems they are facing? How many, are aware and determined to find an immediate solution for the sake of their children? Do they realize that parental behaviors affect children? Furthermore, what is important to remember to raise kind and happy children?
There are many questions that arise. Children absorb like sponges everything parents do and say. Many times, adults argue loudly in the presence of children. They believe that they don’t hear them, because they might be playing or watching TV. In fact, the kids are passive recipients of situations that take place in the home. Children have got the ability, to store everything that happens in their brains. For the rest of their lives. They are very sensitive and unable to manage all the negative emotions that arise. From the sudden outbursts or quarrels of the parents. They cannot understand the cause of what is happening (especially in preschool age). Thus, they are going through an intense emotional stress.
What should you not forget to raise kind and happy children?
Do not argue in front of your children. They are not obligated to hear your problems. It would be good, to avoid disagreements and quarrels when the children are present. If the situation ever gets out of hand, it would be better to discuss it all together as a family. Explaining in a calm way, what has exactly happened and why. Without too many details that may confuse the children more.
Both parents have to be on the same page and express mutual respect. In terms of, how the children should be raised despite the contrary opinions that may exist. There should not be the good and the bad guy. A parent shouldn’t confute the telling of the second parent in front of the children. That is because, the situation can make kids confused and goal disorientated. Consequently, they might become disobedient and irresponsible. They may begin manipulating both parents and doing what they want, despite what parents say. What does a child’s mind translate? If mom and dad don’t agree and don’t respect each other, why should I do what they tell me to do?
Close-knit family. Spend quality time all together as a family through common activities and plays.
Socially responsible kids turn into socially responsible adults. Talk and treat each other with love and respect. The right example, is a basic foundation for the children to gain self-respect and self-esteem. Also, to treat others kindly and respectfully and expect to be treated from others, similarly.
Love and strictness must be in harmony. Children become progressive in their lives, when parents love them and consider their needs. While at the same time, they are being strict to them without being arbitrary.
Healthy environment. It may not be that important for both parents to be present in children’s life, as the content and composition of the parental relationship. If parents continue to live together, while having a dysfunctional relationship, the consequences can be more harmful to the children than if they were divorced. If divorce does occur, however, it is important that it will be done peacefully and consensually. The divorce, does not make you less responsible parents. When a marriage ends in circumstances full of tension, children can blame themselves for what has happened. It can also psychologically traumatize them.
In the future, it may cause them depression, loneliness, fear, anxiety, anger, delinquency and other emotional disorders. In addition, many children as adults carry painful memories and unpleasant feelings in their own relationships. Due to the mistakes of their parents, even if they get married. According to a research, children of divorced parents who are doing better than others, are the ones who maintain a supportive relationship with one or both parents.
In time solution. Do not ignore an existing problem, by fooling yourself and most importantly the kids. Instead, you need to fix it in time to have a positive outcome.
What else do you think is important to raise kind and happy children?